Letters from Parents
Since my daughter was an easygoing child, who was eager to please those close to her, I never dreamed that I would suddenly be facing problems of great magnitude with her in her teen years. It was devastating to watch her self-esteem fall along with her grades and friendships while her unhappiness, inability to cope and her weight rose. I had no idea where I went wrong as her mother. As she plummeted into depression, I followed.
Norma helped me to realize that my daughter's problems arose because she had never experienced a 'No' at home. I did not parent by setting limits, rather allowed my daughter to self-discipline. She had no role model for setting limits with others in her life. She pleased others at her expense. I had to change my parenting so the she could learn to reclaim control of her relationships and her life.
I am grateful for the redirection. My daughter is a new and better woman. So am I.
~ E.K
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Norma has been an invaluable coach, listener and advisor to my husband, my five-year-old daughter and myself. She has taught us skills necessary to address the needs of our exceptionally bright and very intense child. We have learned to be calm and patient with our selves to demonstrate to our daughter how to handle her own challenges. Norma has been dedicated and determined to see our family through even the most difficult times. She is always available to us, which has been a useful tool. With her guidance, our focus on parenting frustrations has been redirected to a focus to guiding our bright and strong-willed daughter to a successful future.
~ M.C
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To write a tribute to Norma Ross on the publication of her wonderful book is akin to thanking our parents for guiding us through life until that first day of college. Simply stated - I could not have done either as successfully or as smoothly without both my parents and Norma!
Personally, there is undoubtedly no greater joy in my life than being a dad, while at many times I needed a source to go to for answers that did not come naturally. Having Norma Ross in my corner, I knew how to cope with anything that arose in my job of being a dad - the only job that you do not interview for and does not come with any sort of reference guide or instruction book - that is until now!
~ D.K
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Letters from Children
Teenagers are more self-regulated than one would think; I feel that I am able to make such a statement being that I have been one for a good 5 years of my life. For the most part, we know what we want, what we need and have some vague idea of how to get there ourselves. This characteristic of our kind is somewhat disguised by the way we dress, act and by our parents' vivid memories of us as defenseless little babies. On the other hand, despite this wealth of ability we posses we also need guidance despite our "I don't need them for anything attitude." We are very complex entities, we know what we want, need to be guided, but don't want our parents help for anything. Therapy helps us get it all. We not only get the guidance we need and what we want, with in reason, but develop the negotiation skills to do so. Whether it be the privilege of driving an automobile or a later curfew, therapy serves and a neutral "battle ground" or more accurately, "playing field" where parents and children can relate to one another on the same level.
~ A 17 year old boy
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One night this year I couldn't sleep. I took out my diary and decided to read it. I read over the year that I was in sixth grade. The person who wrote those things couldn't have been me, but it was. I didn't realize up until that point how troubled I was. I sounded like, if I didn't get help, I would have ended up in an institution. But I did get help. Luckily for me my mother realized I had some problems that needed attention. She took me to a Family Therapist. Back then I thought those sessions were normal, that I was going just to be here.
Looking back I thought I was normal, that I had no problems. Going to all those sessions really showed me that I needed help. Being with a therapist is a lot easier than confiding in a parent. When you talk to a therapist you know that whatever you say does not leave the room. Also, the therapist is very supportive. A parent may not understand your need for help. All I know is that if I did not get the help I needed I would be a very different person today. I would have sunken deeper into my troubles and would have had a harder time coming back. The help I have received saved my sanity. I still go to my therapist every once in a while to hash over the latest problems or the good things. Right now, I can say that I am very thankful to my therapist, the wonderful author of this book.
~ A 14 years old girl
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